Ma ei suuda otsustada //
I can not settle

Ma tean, et ma ei räägi sinuga.

Mul ei ole midagi öelda.
Ma arvan, et ma tahan liikuda aeglaselt.

Ma ei tea kuhu, aga ma loodan, et kohtun inimesega.

Inimene, kes oskab mind aidata.
Äkki ma tean seda inimest, äkki ei tea.

Äkki, see oled sina, aga ma ei taha seda uskuda.
Ma ei suuda otsustada?

Ma ei tea, kui olla aus, miks ma seda teen.
Mul on tegelikkuses nii palju öelda.

Aga kuidas see paneb mind liikuma, on ettearvamatu.

Ma tean, aga ma ei looda, et kohtun sinu kui inimesega.
Ma arvan, et siin pingil istudes aeg juba liigutab mind.
Ma ei suuda otsustada.

Teos räägib ennekõike valusatest suhetest.
Poeetiline kooslus liivakastist, pingist, lainetest markeerib erinevaid ajahetki kunstniku elust,

pakkudes vaatajale nostalgilist võimalust kogedatundeid nii nagu need meie sees on.

Tunnete eitamine on paratamatult inimlik, kuid selleks,

et liikuda edasi puhtama “mina” suunas, tuleb teinekord seista nendega silmitsi.
Teadvustamine, et otsustamatus ning ebakindlus on osa protsessist,
on lihtsam võtta suund helgema tuleviku poole.

Töö helitehnik on Sarah Elizabeth Johnston.

​

//

​

I know that I am not speaking with you.

I have nothing to say.

I think I want to move slowly.

I don't know where, but I hope to meet a person.

A person who knows how to help me.

Maybe I know this person, maybe I don't.

Maybe it's you, but I don't want to believe that.

I can not settle?

​

I don't know, to be honest, why I'm doing this.

In reality I have so much to say.

But how this moves me is unpredictable.

I know, but I don't hope to meet you as a person.

I think that sitting here on this bench, time is already moving me.

I can not settle.

​

The work speaks above all of painful relationships.

A poetic assembly of a sandpit, a bench, and waves marks different moments in time from the artist's life,

offering the viewer a nostalgic opportunity to experience feelings as they exist within us.

The denial of feelings is inevitably human, but in order to move toward a purer sense of self,

one must sometimes face them head on.

Recognising that indecision and uncertainty are part of the process makes it easier

to set a course toward a brighter future.

 

The work's sound technician is Sarah Elizabeth Johnston.